The Whey Of Men
by TheLovelyCybele
Summary: It would seem to Eikichi that Tatsuya has lost his mind...What is this...Whey protein?


**Author's Note!**

** So, there aren't nearly enough stories for Persona 2, and since Innocent Sin became my favorite game EVER (Besides SH2), I decided to do something about it. Let's positive reading!**

The "Whey" of Men

Eikichi Mishina aka "Michelle", was your average second year Cuss High student...that is, if you consider being a completely fabulous visual kei idol average. He was very proud of his gorgeous face, always covered in intimidating amounts of unusual makeup, his spiked blue and white hair and impeccable fashion sense, but what he loved most about himself (besides his face and wonderful personality, of course) was his perfectly slim body, which he'd worked very hard to attain. Naturally, he walked with something like a conspicuous strut, and loved to brag to his friends whenever he could. As such, he was glad to be on his way to the house of Tatsuya Sou, his good friend whom he'd nicknamed Ta-chan, for whatever reason.

He sauntered to the front door and called out in a high-pitched sing-song voice, "Taaaaa-chaaaaan! The incredibly beautiful and lady-killing Michelle has arrived!" His pretentious smirk fell into an awkward frown when Katsuya Sou, Ta-chan's older brother, answered the door dressed in a space suit, holding the dome-shaped helmet in one arm.

"Ah, Eikichi-kun." He said, adjusting his very stylish rectangular framed glasses. "Your here to see Tatsuya?"

"No way man, I'm here to summon a devil. Come on, Katsuya-san! 'course I'm here to see Ta-chan! He said he wanted to talk to me about something real important, and that I should come over right away."

"Oh, right. I get it now. Okay, then." Katsuya moved to the side to let Eikichi in before putting on the space helmet. "I'm going to be out for a bit."

Eikichi looked at him with a knowing smirk. "Another attempt to impress Big Sis, huh, Astronaut-san?"

Through the plastic of the helmet, Eikichi saw Katsuya blush furiously. "No! I'm just...I'm not going to tell Maya-san that I was the first man on the moon or anything, and that if she were to be my girl, we could take a ride together in a spaceship with her face on it across the galaxy, and maybe meet some aliens that would help us to take over Sumaru City, and subsequently the world, from which I would rule as Lord of the Cosmos, with Maya-san as my queen! No, really Eikichi-kun, where the hell do you get such stupid ideas?"

Eikichi looked with much pity at Astronaut Katsuya, who walked to his car in his bulky space suit. The rising visual kei star then turned into the house and called for Ta-chan.

"Ah, Eikichi, is that you?" Evidently, the penchant for asking stupid questions was hereditary. He appeared at the top of the stairs with a serious look on his face.

"No, it's not. It's Santa, here to give you extra presents 'cause you were such a good boy this year!..." He grimaced upon noticing the mild excitement showing through Ta-chan's small smile. "...Uh, no Ta-chan, I'm sorry, I'm not really Santa; It's Eikichi..."

Ta-chan tried hard to conceal his dissapointment, though he wasn't doing a good job of it. "I see...But...you'd say I've been a good boy this year, yes? So, Santa might end up giving me extra presents after a- No! That's not what I wanted to talk to you about!" He stepped quickly down the stairs, flexing his muscles despite the nonsensity of doing so at such a moment, resulting in his near-fatal fall below.

"Goddammit Ta-chan!" Eikichi screamed just before unintentionally breaking his fall.

"Thank you Eikichi, but you should be more careful next time," Ta-chan said sternly as he stood up.

Sighing while dusting himself off, he asked, "So, what did you wanna talk about?"

Ta-chan's eyes momentarily faced in opposite directions before snapping back into his usual intense death stare. "Yes. I wanted to discuss this with you." He held up a large container of what the lable identified as 'whey protein isolate'. "I've been meaning to tell you this for a while, but..." he nodded resolutely. "You really should bulk up some."

"Ehh? That's what was so important? You sounded like you were really nervous on the phone!"

"Well I was. My brother was trying to get me to give up my arms as a sacrifice to some demon. He had a bone saw all ready for it. "

"Oh." Eikichi decided to revert to the last subject. "S-so, why should I bulk up? The ladies love my physique!"

"Prehaps that's true," Ta-chan said, reading the complicated intake instructions on the container's label, "But, to be a man is... to be shredded, massive, and juiced." He flexed his unimpressive muscles accordingly.

"Ehh? That doesn't sound too good...Oh, you mean, like buff?"

Ta-chan nodded. "I've started taking this twice a day, after my morning jog all the way to Tacos El Paisa and back. Then I go for a four hour workout at the 24 over in the strip mall, you know, the one that used to be that creepy chiropractor's office before he moved to Yumezaki? So anyway, I usually start with a little cardio on the elliptical or the treadmill, then I work on my abs, and I spend the rest of the time on the weights. This week, I'm targeting my triceps, biceps, and calves. Hmmm, but since I'm getting my triceps and biceps, I might as well go for my forearms as well...What do you think Eikichi?"

"Uh, W-what?" Eikichi had gotten lost in his friend's amazingly uninteresting fitness rant. From the way he was talking, it sounded like he'd become rather serious about it. "Ha, man Ta-chan, what, do you wanna be one of those body builder type or something?" He chuckled, amused by the thought.

"Yes, actually."

Eikichi suddenly seemed to be choking on the air.

"I want to attain the same level of manliness as famous body builder and Muscletech Hardcore Pro Series supplements spokesperson Jay Cutler. Maybe then Maya will stop laughing at my pixie underwear..." Ta-chan growled unexpectedly.

_Ah, right. _He did have pixie underwear, as revealed in one of the tracks on the Innocent Sin drama cd. When Maya heard the said track, she teased Ta-chan non-stop for weeks. This had reduced him beyond Jun-status moping, as well as inducing a bizzare pixie complex.

"Ah, Ta-chan, you don't have to prove your manliness for BIg Sis to like you," Eikichi said comfortingly, "I mean, look at Jun! He's prettier than a girl and acts like one too, but she still adores him..."

"Jun? No, he's become rather manly. Actually, he's the one who got me into the ametuer body building lifestyle."

Eikichi blanched._ Hell. No. _That was one thing he refused to imagine. Jun, a body builder? That was like imagining Ginko or Maya in a female body building competition! That last thought sent Eikichi into an exaggerated gagging frenzy, while Ta-chan continued to explain his future workout and supplement routines in unecesssary detail, to no one in particular.


End file.
